Not How Long But How Much

 

Not How Long But How Much

The guarantee of a relationship to still stand is not really about how long you've known a person. It's not in the length but the weight of the quality with which you have known a person. Length divided by weight of quality equals nature of progress.

Time and chance happens to all; time is a constant factor that will always happen, but intentionality is not what always happen. You decide it. You decide to make room, you decide to extract quality out of the time, you decide to pour out yourself, you decide to pick up the pieces of the one pouring out himself or herself for you, you decide to build, you decide to redeem it.

Trust me, I have seen people who have stayed together for long, but yet they breed the fruits of unawareness of the other. It’s hard to be met at the angle of your need when you really are not known by the one you’re trying to build life with.

It’s  interesting how Jesus spoke of the intensity of this in Matthew 7:“📖22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles? 23 Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'”

I never knew you, ouch. Well, Jesus won’t really say how long have you been born again, how many prophecies have you made, how many demons have you driven out or etc. But He will look at whether He knows you or not. Listen carefully, you know Jesus and that’s cool, but does He know you. I walk with Jesus, but does He walk with me; I do this and that with Jesus, but does He with me? It’s reciprocal: you know Jesus and Jesus should know you too. You encounter God and God should encounter you too. There was the woman with the issue of blood, there was Bartimaues who encountered God moving amidst them...they did something that stopped God and made Him turn to them, encountering them. 

Hear me, yeah yeah we have done this and that together and for this long, but that’s not what counts the progress of the relationship we share. Do you know me and do I know you? If there’s a thing to invest in, invest in knowing each other.

In every relationship, honesty is the foundation of how well you get to know a person. Being intentional to get to know someone or getting to be known by someone includes you being honest. The level of honesty in the relationship determines how much of you guys will be exposed to each other. The equation of this is: Expression level + Level of honesty = Level of exposure.

Okay I need to explain that: no matter how honest you are but if you can’t express that honesty, forget about exposing yourself to someone or someone being exposed to you. You can be 100% honest, alright thanks for that, but how much of this 100% are you able to express? Possess honesty, but that’s not enough; your ability to express your honesty is what triggers exposure. Yeah I like you that you are honest, but if you only express 50% of that honesty, am gonna know 50% of you babe.

I really hope you are understanding this. I have been speaking of this severally, and am gonna say it again: expressing your honesty is you communicating. Aha now you have different modes of communication, we agree? Okay, now if you don’t  use your mouth to communicate, I beg you stop assuming that someone understands what you are really saying. You like a girl, talk to her; waving hie👋 to her everyday won’t do it. You like a guy, give him a chance to talk to you. He speaks something that you don’t like, don’t ghost him, be honest about it that you have been offended and express it to him, that’s  how he’s  gonna know you. 

 

I have a friend who liked to come, sit down quiet and out of nowhere be like “Vinnie, ineyo kukhala ngati za ma relationship zi simbali yanga ndingozisiya” He always made me laugh when I hear him say that and ndimadziwa kuti yalakwa somewhere, so I would ask what had happened this time around. “Nxaa amwene I don’t  understand, panopa it’s 4 days no talking and I don’t know kuti ndalakwitsa chani”...alright so, this is some girl who when she’s  mad or offended, she cuts communication as a way of communicating that she’s not okay, been offended or that. This is how you lose relationships. You don’t cut communication to communicate something: we talk. Be transparent, be able to say your heart without having someone always ask you. I told you men we are not always that sensitive. You might think we don’t care when actually  it’s you tuning the wrong frequency.

Lastly, let’s back this up with the word of God: Revelation 3:20📖Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. 

This is a prayer that some of us made at one time: thank you Jesus for dying for my sins, come into my heart today, be my personal Lord and saviour. We opened the door for the Lord. Aha now we get to know more of Jesus through His word and the gift of the Holy Spirit. But how does Jesus get to know you? 

Remember, He will say I never knew you, so how do I get Him to know me? Through your honesty and expression of that honesty. Jesus is inside you, He expresses Himself honestly to you, but how much of you have you expressed to Him? How many doors inside you have you not yet let Him get past. He’s interested to know me and so, He’s knocking: Vinnie what’s in this door. But if I can’t reciprocate  and let Him go through that door, there’s a part of me that am not letting Jesus know about. I have to get to that point where I tell Him that okay Jesus, this is how am moving, am good at this and am failing at this, how should I go about this. It’s your honesty being communicated to Him that reveals you to God. God deals with you at the level of your honesty. He ain’t intervening in what you never told Him about. Likewise, am interested to know you and am knocking on your doors; which ones are you gonna open? Be honest, transparent  and communicate; that’s how you grow a relationship.