Solid Dating Advice (Men)

Solid Dating Advice - Men

 Everyone is born as a child in Christianity, but you must grow. Great things of God may be, but when they are received by a child, they are handled childishly. Grow! As time passes by, grow into a man too!

📖1 Corinthians 13:11

✍️Bishop Alfred Goliath

Solid dating advice too:

1. Don't date a child; get yourself a man, get yourself a woman. 

You need someone you can speak the language of the Spirit with. Because loving someone with God at heart is crazy. It demands you to make crazy moves. You need someone mature to make those crazy moves with you whilst drawing sense out of those crazy moves. These are not maneuvers for children. Child abuse ayi🙂 Age is not maturity, it's deeper than age.

2. Seek to find a wife

📖He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22).

Winawe nde wagundika asking God to help you get a girlfriend🌝 girlfriend akutengerani kuti? Ali nchani iyeyi worthy pursuing?🌝 Solid advice:

Seek to find a WIFE, she provokes the rain of favour upon you from the Lord. No wonder, the Bible challenges us: a wife of noble character, who can find her???? And all you can ask from God is a girlfriend, ah seriously bro?😂 You have something bigger to pursue than a girlfriend.

3. She is meant to be your decision, not thought

When he comes to you and says he thinks he likes you and would like you to be a thing; ladies, mukaneni🙂 Tell him to go back, and continue thinking, and get to the bottom of his thoughts.

Brothers, solid advice: a decisive mind is a field of progress. We appreciate that you think, but life is built on decisions. Before you confront her, I am assuming you've exhausted the angles about her that need your thoughts. Don’t confront her with your thoughts, confront her with your decision. She is meant to be your decision, not your thought.

One of the reasons relationships, from dating to marriage, are not standing out is because we are involved with men and women who are still thinking. These are matters meant to be implemented with wisdom. And what's wisdom? The application of understood knowledge. Knowledge - You can be aware you like her. Understanding - you can unveil your awareness of liking her. Wisdom then is the decision summing up your knowledge and understanding. Wisdom is profitable to direct: you proceeed or recede.

4. Don't bring someone in her space

Imagine you invite her to a date and she comes with a friend😂Date ija kuno yasanduka msonkhano, si basi wasokoneza mission ameneyu😂😂

Solid advice: when she is your woman, it's unhealthy to bring someone else in the space she alone needs to occupy. Ndi zoona biggy mmatha kucheza, but zoti status yanu isanduke gallery for other ladies for no reason, uko nde sikucheza. You just can't have some kind of conversations with other ladies anymore, you just can't behave with other ladies like you're still single. Respect her!

There are words you can't speak to other ladies anymore, there are places you can't be with other ladies anymore. There are things that are okay when you are alone, but not when you have her now beside you. Ah uyuyu ndi mnzanga, tidazolowera kucheza chonchi, shut up! Is your she friend above she that God saw you were missing? No sir, it doesn’t matter how long you've been friends with that lady, but she can't cross some lines above your woman. Don't bring another woman in the territory occupied by your woman. She hates that, in case she didn't tell you.

Let's extend to ladies as well the advice we looked at. We are in this together. Let’s talk without rushing.

As much as a man ought to respect you by how he behaves with other ladies, he deserves the same from you. You see, difference is what differentiates a person from others. Suppose there are 3 of you ladies, and I greet you with a handshake except one to whom I give a hug instead. You will probably wonder why I have treated this one differently, and you will attach a certain perspective to her and I, that something is going on, right. If I give you all a handshake, nothing peculiar would rise up, right? Why? Because I have behaved the same to you all, am not attaching any difference to any of you.

Now, it's the same idea: when you treat your man differently from the rest of the other men, you’re telling the world that He’s different enough to receive your difference. And what happens? We attach a difference to you guys. And when you treat other men the same way you do with your man, you're telling us that there's no difference among all these men (men, this also applies to you). Kamabaya both to men and women when their partner shares their treatment with other men and women respectively. I understand that physical touch is your language, but sister you're not a hug distributor kuti mpaka mwamuna aliyense alandire wake. Then, what's left for your man??? What can you present to your man that only he gets? Crush wanu hug, bestie wammuna ujanso hug, awa hug, uyonso hug, aaaa you're confusing us...which one here is your crush? We can't differentiate. Are you getting this? Tuletsa hug ngati?🌝No, but we are saying where you want to communicate difference, behave differently.

Let me share a story: I have a brother who had this beautiful woman, very nice, amakhalana honestly. One time he shared about this behaviour of the woman ya ma hug yomweyi with other men in his presence. He felt disrespected and he voiced it out to her. Amati wamva but no change. Later, she grew bold to answer back and say, it’s no big deal, nda mnzake you know. No big deal, but to him it was big deal. Guess, they are a past now.

Hear me, even Jesus hates to share us, the bride, with another man. Who then do you think we are to delight in sharing our woman with another guy? We are not that generous! You can be beautiful, nice figure, good cook, good smile, voice and all that. But your virtue minus respect for your man, he coils back. Respect is love to him. He's alive when he earns respect through you, his crown. Men and women are jealousy creatures in these love matters, don't share what's theirs with others.

Inu ndi ine tasaver po ma contact mwa chibwana bwana, enanu muli nawo panopa, with these names and emojis that aaa🥲deletani n save them appropriately. Those hearts ❤️, put them on your man or woman's name, good. Am saying, men and women, we are all doing what we have talked about today.

So, simple terms: if you love her, don’t share yourself. If you love him, don't share yourself. Don't share with others the things that you do with her, with him. Differentiate her, differentiate him. If you're a King, you need one Queen, and treat her like one, and vice versa. You got a partner or crush, good, behave differently with the subject and the objects now. Loving a person is an altar of sacrifice. I don't care what relationship you have with this opposite gender, but sacrifice the places, the time, the conversations, certain behaviours....sacrifice them, limit or deactivate them and render them inaccessible from this opposite gender; and grant access only to your man, to your woman. Sometimes, you lose because you didn't want to lose some things. Relationships are built on difference, give it!

5. Take her for her word

After coming to the bottom of your thoughts, you decide her and you tell her, beautiful😊 it's not easy bro🫂She’s grateful you could choose her, but unfortunately she can't be your choice, so, no🙂

Solid advice: take her for her word. Contrary to what you hear most times that you have to go again later, am telling you to take her for her word. Don’t ask her why no, she doesn’t owe you an explanation. If she wants you to know, she accompanies her answer with the reason. If she doesn’t say it, take it that your interests didn’t tie knots, and it's okay. Respect it! When you respect her choice, she honours you. Confronting her again and again on something she made herself clear, it gets to a point that it begins to irritate her. Once you become an irritation to her, trust me you're losing respect. For a woman like her, it's not easy for her to say yes or no, it's a result of careful thoughts, respect her!

Ayi ayi si uyu🥲Munankonda achimwene, koma ayi si uyu! Inde she breathes life into you, koma si uyu. Even if God helped you with the way to her, it's you who speaks. Same, it's her who says yes or no, not God. God didn't mislead you, anatsogolera ndithu but yees😂

Elijah for seven times sent his servant to check for any sign of rain. It was on the seventh time that a sign of rain was shown. Now, unless God says go again, you don't have to. One time is enough. No lady that wants you too will send you away when you come, she receives you. Otherwise, she's right to say no and there's nothing we can do about it. But there is something we can do with ourselves, we can walk on. Don't irritate these ladies, please, there’s no wisdom in that. Happy pursuit🤜🤛

6. Give yourself a chance of making a move

Man, am not sure how she feels about me and how she will receive this, what if she says no?...okay, and what if she says yes?🙂

Solid advice: give yourself a chance of making a move. Nobody wants to fail, we all want to succeed at this, but success happens to those that are taking a step towards it. Some prayers demand you to take part in producing the answer, and this is one of them. You have to call out your courage, step out there, and face her. She can't make a move, it's in you to do. The worst that can happen if you don't tell her, is, you'll never know the answer.

Let’s be real, this is a 50-50 game, anything can happen. Be hopeful but don’t decide the answer, that power is in her hands. So, sub-advice: mdyerantuni when facing her🌝 kuti when she says no, appetite ija muziluza mthupi muli chakudya. Zoti you should into skipping meals, ivo yayi. Kuganiza bwino nkulinga mthupi muli chakudya as well, don’t play with food! She's mahope, right, so allow the hope to redirect you as well. If it's a yes, praise the Lord as well as when it's a no. The goal is to know your stand, Yes/No does it. It's best to know than never know🤜🤛

7. Look good, smell good

Straight advice: look good, smell good. Your presentation as a man matters as well. You're a king, you ought to carry yourself as one.

Looking good has to capture among others your head to toe: keep your hair in shape, get a good cut; you got your own style of dressing, keep it smart. I was with a brother one day and this lady passes by and the brother goes, "Eesh apa nde ationa ngati olowelera bwanji..." So I was like, why shouldn't she when your dressing speaks so? He wore a trouser long'amba ng'amba, dirty so called, and his hair osapesanso. Let me ask:

It's your choice but tiziunikiranako: someone out there is in need and kuvala zong'ambika sikuti ndikufuna. Iweyo how would you go to a market, kusiya zovala za bwino bwino and buy those already torn? Are you okay? I mean, guys even the name itself, dirty, fashion yes but, how do you delight in such?

How would he in need ask for help from you yet akakuyang'ana you both seem of the same team? He still does anyway for some other reasons...but your presentation matters really. Look good. It doesn't need you to get a new wardrobe, no, God works with what you have. It's natural for ladies to like colourful things and fragrances. It would be nice to have a nice scent by which she will say, "he was here or he is here." She should say that recognising your presence without you uttering a word to her to mark your presence...Smell good bro.  If you can, get yourself some perfume neither with a strong nor faint scent, but neutral. I wouldn't stay close to you when your scent is strong, I can’t stand it naturally, not by preference. Some ladies can't accommodate such scents as well. You better pick something bearable by all. This one is something I heard a lady say, that they like it when we smell nice, when we look good. So, yeah..Kunja kuzizira uku but tisathawe madzi😂 freshen up boss✌️Your Father is a clean and decent God🙂

7. Relationships are expensive. If you can't afford it, don’t demand it!

Like it or not, relationships need money. It's very unfortunate when you say women amakonda ndalama, yes the love of money is bad, but you should realise that women need money more than we men do. There are some things that you begin to assume for her for being her man, you're a provider. It's your responsibility. You don't like her new hairstyle, sir, were you the one who paid her salon bills? Did you pay for the hairstyle that you like? Did you?

She can dress better, yes sir, but it's never wisdom when you have the eye for a problem but lack a solution to it. If you don’t have the solution, keep quiet! Don't point it out! When you see that she can dress better than what she is wearing, I hope you can be that man who can say babe follow me; you take her to a boutique, she picks that dress that you like and you pay for it. Nxaaa ndine bambo ake, chaaan🥱 Nde maganizo okanikawo amenewo. And there is a reason you think that way, let me show you.

You can't give what you don’t have. Giving is a burden when you don't have. Do you know kuti chakudya cha mu KFC is very cheap? It is, to those that have money. Amene ndalama ulibe, meals in KFC ngodula zedi and some of you decided not to dare step into it. The idea of getting money from your pocket and doing something for her sounds ntchito ya bambo ake because. 1. You lack the heart of investment because 2. You don’t have what you can invest in her with. When you lack, those that demand from you amaoneka ovuta.

Do you know something? The bible says: for the reason that you have loved that woman, a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife...this is a charge to a man who wants to settle down. Before the union, this man leaves his parents' house, going where? To his own home.  When now the woman is coming in, we are assuming that you have what it takes for her in your home, you have provision for her, you have food for her, you have clothing for her, you have protection for her and all that. In those days, our kind of dating kunalibe. In those days, this was the principle: have certain things before the woman. Adam had it, some of them were the presence of God, place (home, garden), purpose or work, provision (food, money in our time to say), identity, parameters (discipline).

And this principle still stands today, God hasn't changed. If you are getting a wife, you need these things. So we are saying, have something that you are doing or working on. This is so that you don't point to her that ngokonda ndalama, no, you're supposed to have this provision before you get her. Am telling you when you have, giving is easy. Loving is easy when you have love. Spoiling her sometimes will demand money, its easy to do when you have it. Money flows in you, find a way to liquidise that money, do something, acquire it and give it to her. Ngati ndi utambwali ukhale wake, koma do your part.

Lastly, ladies if your man or that man pursuing you is doing or working on something, trust him. As a man thinketh, so is he; check how he thinks and does his things, you will know if this provision for you exists in him or not. Hope these sharings have been of help to you all👋