Solid advices: Women

Solid advices - Women

1. Be clarity responsive

Suitable helpers, hello😊 Let’s start by imagining that you go to your man's or crush's place. He says hi to you and then goes doing like you are not there, like you are some ghost there; not attending to you, not striking a conversation with you. How would you feel? Wouldn't you send yourself off?

How do you think we feel then when you are playing hard to get, wanting a man to chase you? Do you feel we enjoy the game?👀Solid advice: Be clarity responsive. No man enjoys chasing you, not this kinda man that you're looking could find you. Let's break this down: there are two kinds of men seeking you: wolves and shepherds, and you are the sheep.

i. Wolves

This kind is carnivorous. When it sees you, it has seen food. This animal just has to hunt to quench its hunger. To say, whatever it takes to catch you, it will do strategically: whether it's walk to you, run after you or chase you. Yes, this one enjoys chasing you. It can wait for you to nyada nyada kaye, and an opportune time, it strikes. If you have ever watched on TV how animals hunt their preys, you understand this.

ii. Shepherds

The man you are looking for follows Christ, right, aha he's a shepherd. He leaves the 99 and goes looking for you to complete the number to 100%. Yoh, you missed this one🥹what a man he is!  He goes searching for you out there, knowing you're a sheep among wolves, knowing you need someone who can come for you with an embrace of love, love that can shield you. Him too is hungry, but his hunger is to find you and bring you to safety, not for food. Both men are hungry for you, but with a different drive!

Do you know how it hurts Jesus to know you're missing? It hurts Him so much that He dares leave everything behind just to come looking for you. How happy He is when He finds you! But before He grabs your hand, you run away further, it hurts!!! But He still pursues you to where you have run to, that's JESUS🙌

For a man that has loved you, it hurts him when you are playing hard to get, wanting him to chase you. It has already been hard for him to find you! You don't play hard to get, if you are hard to get! You missed this point🥲 Let me help you. Sis, remember Proverbs 31:10, it says, you are hard to get! Who is he that can find a woman like you? Are you listening to this😂 it's a challenge already to find you, don't make it any hard when we find you, please.  When you do, we are not JESUS that we will still pursue you in your running, no. When we interpret your game as your sign of unwillingness, timakumbukira kuti oh paja kuli other 99 sheep back there, we turn around and walk away. When the man starts moving on, that's when you come on track. Seriously, I don't understand that chemistry🌝See this:

You come on track and begin to do all these things indicating your interest, chabwino. But zimavuta when the drive for you in the man is gone. He notices your actions but he's got no drive to respond to your stimuli accordingly. Amadzaoneka ngati sanali serious about you, but no, he was! Kungoti the fire in him for you is burning no more. Without the fire, he will hurt you to attempt loving you, he needs it!

Lastly, if this shepherd asking you out is not him, tell him clearly that you appreciate but you're waiting for your shepherd. Men, we said, take her for her word and continue searching. If this shepherd asking you out is the one your heart is making a melody for, don't complicate things. Be clear about what you want, if he is what you want, take him in. Olo mutalola right there and then sikuti pali vuto, you know what you want! Mmm koma sandiona ngati ndine ophweka? Haha😂madam, if you were easy, we wouldn’t have even bothered stopping for you. The prayers, books, seminars, the waiting, the discipline we do just to find you, and you dare think you are easy🙂 Wow, only if you knew your worth, you wouldn't think you're easy🥲

2. Don't ask him out

Men are not the only ones who get to feel something for you. It's nice when we know you also got some emotion towards our emotion. We all like it when who we like likes us back. But, solid advice: Don’t ask him out. You like him that much yes, but don't step out of your role.

It is a man's pride to come for you, it's not easy to do yes but we feel ourselves when we step out there and express ourselves to you. He likes you, okay, but if he isn't bold enough to come for you, how bold are you to trust him to shepherd you? A man asking you out is an exercise of his authority for you. Without this expression, he's not promising to carry the responsibility for you. He won't do for you what he didn't decide for you. If he is the head, he just has to express the responsibility for responsibility. It’s a big decision, don’t make it for him.

Today, it seems normal for a lady to confront a man, but it's not biblical. Did Eve ask Adam out? Nop. There's a certain authority that begins to reign when a man stands. There are things that begin to move when a man moves. The head is vital, he's to declare movement. Let him make a move, if the things that move at his move are to move for you. You don't want to put yourself in immobility of some things just for doing his role. Let him do it!

There is however what you can do to help him move. We talked of what you can do in the topic, Your Shot as a Woman. Position yourself in the position to be positioned. Get yourself in his space, get interested in his things. We are logical beings, think with him, solutionise with him. Get him asking, whose damsel is this??? Some men will take a while to notice, but greenlight yo iwalebe bwino🟢

3. Be an atmosphere of favour

You know, I thought I would be hard on you guys, but am wondering, am I this soft?😂 Anyways, let me share this today: Be an atmosphere of favour. How? Find the wife in yourself, she's the one who comes with favour for her man.

Now, we said it doesn’t make sense for a man to be pursuing a girlfriend whilst the scripture calls us to find a wife. Same, you’re worthy a lot more to settle for a boyfriend. Your prayer has to change, seek a husband material. A wife is for a husband, not a boyfriend. If you be a wife, boyfriend akutayitsani nthawi.

The bible compares a sheep to a goat, I wonder how you recently have found this goat name interesting. If you are a goat, pursue to be a sheep because the shepherd you’re looking for is looking for a sheep, not a goat.  A sheep is gentle, obedient, listening, dependent, innocent and all that. The opposite is the goat. This sheep kind nature is the same that our Lord Jesus possessed and He was wow: favour, grace, love and all this goodness came with Him. We don't say gentle ladies and gentle men, we know by nature you are gentle, kind, loving, comforting creatures. Get this:

That proverbs 31 woman possess characters of a sheep. She is with the grace to unlock favour for her man. If a man be a nation, we are saying that woman unlocks favour for a nation. That's why am saying, if you are a girlfriend material, you better seek out that wife material within you. That’s her about you who we want to find. You are the one who finds her first before we do. Research shows that within 7 months, a man can know if you're worthy the ring💍 He may as well give you grace beyond this length. It's small small things than can get a man tick you out.

Naggings, no man enjoys that side of you. You're perfect that he can't seem to get things right for you, okay, watch him coil slowly. It's better to dwell on the corner of the roof than share a space with you.

Surely, before nagging breeds ingratitude, it will produce the whatever-attitude. Ndiwe onyanyala zinthu, and you expect a man to trust you with his vision? With his fears, his pain, his silent battles, his incapacity? No ma'am, it takes the gentle consolidating you for him to break down before you. We're fragile too, but we put up a smile avoiding your darts. You ask him, babe are you okay? He says, yeah am good🙂 He's lying! That's a confession of faith, not of reality. After you bid goodnight, he gets down and now say to his another love with honesty, 'Holy Spirit, am hurting inside.' At least, Him does not nag him or kumunyanyalira zinthu. He gets from there charged and back to loving you yet again! But should you be this? No, you're blessed with a womb to carry favour, grace, honour, comfort, joy, goodness for him. He can't fight the world and fight you too on characters you can disconnect from. Come on, you are gentle!

4. Smell good and look good

Being a boys home, we got to be the girls of the home. So, my mom would now and then call out, hey what is this, what is that, ichi chimakhala apa? Apa nde simunakolope mwangolemba mnyumbamu...mukundithimbiritsira mbale, and all those stuff you know. She just doesn't want things out of order when you can order it. She successfully imparted that spirit in me, that I want my things clean, smart and in order😂

It's natural for a woman to desire her things looking good around her. We don't need to say you have to look good and smell good! You naturally desire to look beautiful and feminine, so yeah keep it up✊🔥 I will only share with you some of what we men talk about as far as your looking good is concerned. Let’s talk it in these two aspects: makeup and dressing.

i. Makeup

Why do you apply makeup? That's an important question to get started with. Makeup dates way back about 5000 years ago. Guess were it was first used, Africa, Egypt. Their reason was to enhance their appearance. Approximately, around 840BC we see makeup mentioned in the bible, in the old testament. In the 19th and 20th century in Europe, makeup was in the theaters for actors, for the purpose of creating a false impression. 21st century, here we are, it's everywhere. My question remains, why do you use makeup?

See, the first reason it was used and how it progressed to around the 20th century, the reason changed. In our era right now, we have these reasons mixed: enhancing beauty or creating a false impression. Which one is yours? Where are you in this? The word itself, makeup: what is your interpretation when we say this is a make up class, or this a made up story? We mean, this thing is not what it was supposed to be. In the midst of this, can you still pull out the real thing now? Can you still pull out your real face? Our concern is, sometimes we don't meet you but the made up you. We feel deceived at times!

Listen, makeup is an art to magnify who you are, not to make up a new you. God gave you those cute dark spots, are you able to magnify those paintings of God on you or you erase them? You don't like those spots😂😂eeeeshh

Ati foundation, kenaka kaya concealer, then kaya what again...wait, are you building a house?👀 all those things on your face and you expect your face not to take a different shape? Simplicity is complex! Simple things are not simple to do because they are mistaken for simplicity. We love it to see you glow your beauty, but keep it simple! Too much is not always beautiful. Pena tikakuyang'anani we say eh okaaay🥲 But tikaona the effort, the time, the resources you put into decorating yourself, we say, wow you look beautiful☺️...We are tired of lying, hear us😬

ii. Dressing

You're a queen ma'am, not a model. Your skin is worth a lot for you to give it out with no charge. Am saying, not every man out here has to see your skin. What did he do for you chomuyenereza to see something valuable like that? Cover up!

You must realise what your bodies do to a man. Sikutinso ndi uchimo, nop, a man in the presence of stimulus, his body responds. It's natural, he was wired like that. Now, a man knowing how his body works, labels you a temptation and can't look at you twice, cover up! Dress la bwino bwino koma chi slit🌝mufuna tione chani?🤷‍♂️ Cover up!! Fashion inayi is keeping good men away from you.

That's not attractive. To wolves yes, that's an invite. But shepherds, yoh that's a deal breaker. Dignity is in your hands. Ulemu umazikonzera wekha munthu. Pamene ukuzichotsa ulemu, why are you surprised when zopanda ulemu zayamba kukutsata? Onamponi bwino pamenepo🙂 For God's sake, you're a queen, not a prostitute. Carry yourself in the constraints of what God calls you. Covering yourself is not naivety, it's fashionable.

Let's finish off your looking good part. Why do you want to look good? First reason is, it's your natural desire. But you have to direct your desire to the right context. So, why do you desire to look good?

You see, because of your natural desire, your gender now has a lot going on that you don't know is going on. The one that has answered correctly as to why you desire to look good, that one is good to walk exceptionally in the lots happening with your gender. So, what's going on? The world has supplied and is supplying women with fake things to respond to the desire of looking good. That's not what is dangerous at all. What is dangerous is the dilution of the reality that you women possess about yourselves. And that's something that some of you are not seeing while looking good. Fake nails, fake eyes, fake eyelashes, hair caps, fake butts, fake breasts, and what we talked about yesterday, fake faces, and other fake things that are out there. All these responding to you looking good. Anything wrong?

You are not beautiful because of makeup, eyelashes or nails; these things are beautiful becuase you are beautiful! These things need to stand on that truth and foundation. When you don't know this truth for yourself, you do what we talked up there. When you know this, makeup will be done to glow your beauty, not to build your beauty. Beautiful girls have nails, not claws; you have eyelashes, not fans; you have one skin tone, not gradient coloured; you are the real you at all times!

1 Peter 3:3-5: your outward beauty has to be the expression of your inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. These are fruits of the Holy Spirit. If God is depositing Himself in you, it means expressing Him outwardly needs that expression to talk about Him. So, yeah plait your hair, wear jewerly or fine clothes. But does that all come from the deposition of God? Does your makeup express God? Do the nails, the eyelashes express God? Do all things unto God's glory. If what you are doing is not amplifying the imprint of God in you, on you, for you and about you; that's for your own glory. It means, therefore, in the fashion or cosmetic world, not everything is your area of interest. Not every product is yours to use. Not every product you're to use, like everybody else. You have your own standard, and the products have to comply with your standard. Not inverted.

So, why do you desire to look good? For the glory of God. You just wanna glow the beauty of God on you. Go out there and get that makeup, that nice dress, that nice jewelery, that nice hairstyle....you're content with who you are and will do it within the glory of God💪

5. Be a helper, not a consumer

Last thing: be a helper to him, not a consumer to him. You are said to be a complementary to him. It means, you and him are pieces fitting together. So, what are you bringing to him that fits into him, in the space that needs some filling?

He's a provider, yes, but do you really think you are given to him to just receive from him? No! His provision is not like it's eternal, no, it needs sustainance. What wisdom are you to him to sustain his provision? That's why we said find the wife in you. That woman is not a liability to the man, she's an asset. An asset brings income!!! He has to spend money on you, zoonadi, koma what are you doing towards the making of that money? Can he trust you with money and believe it will grow in your hands? He is investing in an asset, what's your degree of Return on investment?

He provides yes, and you help with provision. Go check the Proverbs 31 woman, she was making money too. What are you doing? If he doesn't have money, nde kuti no outs or something like that? That's being parasitic, you know. Help with the bills too sometimes. Help him look good too, buy him that outfit you love. I hope you can be that woman who can say, babe I know things ain't that really good right now but, I have made this money for us. You give it to him, and he sits down with you and budget the money! I was touched when this friend commented when I shared about men and money in the relationship. She said,

"...I also want to help pay for the things like dates, or whatever I'll be doing in the relationship. Plus I need a visionary man, I don't want to just support with my mind but resources😂" Isn't it that a woman for keep🙃

Bro, you doing or working on something and she comes telling you, "I believe in you, you got this!" Wow🥲you got a foolish of a woman for a partner. Not me saying, it's the bible. She doesn’t know how incapable you are, how frustrating you can be, how weak you can be, how confused you can be, how failing you can be. Try and fail, you indeed will see what she meant.

If she comes to you and says, "I belive in God for you, for me, and for us. Go out there, you got this!" Ehe now we talking. She knows how failing you can be, but with God oh yes you will make it buddy💪 A helper should have that wisdom.

Osati all you tell me is you believe in me, chani, do you think my friends can't tell me that? Anyone can say that, but what are you saying exceptionally? Believing in God in someone, yoh that's a commitment above faith in men. You’re committing yourself to stay with this person just to see God make this possible. We need someone who can promise that, someone who can put that faith in God to work with us. DO something with us! Believing is not enough, even demons believe....do something with us unto what you believe.

Help! Help with the ministry, the finances, the businesses, the companies, the developments. We too want to someday stand before that Congregation and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the person who stood with me building this thing, my wife..." Forget that introduction if all you are there to do is consume than help produce what needs the consumption. Produce together! Complement!!! Can we take a break now, let's meet again on Tuesday. Happy helping💪